One dark and spooky Halloween, Betty’s going through her mail:
Past-due bills plus brand new bills that make her want to wail
Catalogs and flyers, a postcard for her spouse
And a big, impressive envelope from Publishers Clearing House.

“Jeez, these BILLS,” says Betty, “We’re always in a bind!
Just when we get a step ahead, we fall a step behind.”
And she went on to fuss and fume and wring her hands and grouse,
While THROWING OUT that envelope from Publishers Clearing House.

Poor Betty! If she only knew that what she’d thrown away
Was the matching winning number for a PCH giveaway
If she’d found a sec to send it back, and send it back on time
There’d be a different ending to this sad and scary rhyme!

There’d be Betty in the money, with not a thought of bills,
Unpaid and ever-growing (the memory’d give her chills).
There’d be Betty in a brand-new house, a new pool in the rear,
Betty on a First-Class cruise with loved ones near and dear.

It’s probably best she never knew the fortune she had ditched
T’would be scarier than Frankenstein or the meanest crafty witch!
Though she’d wail and moan like Marley’s ghost, howl like a macaque,
Once you throw away a fortune, you just don’t get it back.

I hope you learn from Betty’s tale, lest you suffer the same fate.
Keep entering every chance you get, and not a moment late!
Make sure you enter every day in every way, for sure,
If you want to bring the Prize Patrol a-knocking at your door.

Have a happy, fun-filled Halloween, with thrills and chills and candy.
(Take wolf’s bane with you just in case, and keep that garlic handy.)
And if our “P.P.” rings your bell, ask them to take a seat,
‘Cause at PCH, there are never tricks, just million-dollar “treats”!